The pictures I took

The title says it all.

 So the first two ones are some pics I took while running, the other one has some colour issues again, this time the contrast is all fucked up. The other one is distorted because I couldn't stand still to take it. The next two ones are from another part of the forest, near where I woke up. The tree in the right on the second row is the tree I found my notebook next to. And the last picture is just another weird pic I don't really remember taking but that's just because I was hysteric and scared and probably in panic. I'm fine at the moment. I run across an old playground in the forest, but I didn't really have time to look around more. I'll try to find that playground again later, because It seemed interesting, standing there, in the middle of the forest (Well, there was a path that went there, or more like a small gravel road, but it wasn't exactly easy to find.) I didn't have time to take pictures either.

-Darkn3z

Okay, this isn't normal...

First of all. I just woke up in a forest with my laptop, and I'm writing this down and I will post it when I get home / get an internet connection. Nothing else is wrong except THE FUCKING DATE. IT'S BEEN MORE THAN 2 WEEKS SINCE THE LAST POST AND I HAVE NO FUCKING MEMORY. I feel so nauseous and watched that I probably shouldn't stick around. I'll continue this soon.

Hey guess what? Found my notebook. It was here in the fucking forest. I have no idea in what part of the forest I'm in, but the notebook was next to a weird looking tree. I'll post pics later, I have some on my phone that I found from my pocket. It's either the worst day of my life or my lucky day.

I had to run again. This time I knew he was close. I'm typing this whle walking and its abit hardto concentrate. My lastmemory was from when I went to slep and I had a trrible migraine that day.

I can see the road and the houses but he's near.


------------------------------------------------


Hey. I'm back home, and even though I still feel bad, He's not following me, I know for sure. My mum has apparently been on a business trip and hasn't noticed a thing. I feel like crying. How did evrything end up like this, and why?

-Darkn3z

The drawing

I know the quality is bad, and I apologise for it. I took the pic with my phone. The face is just creeping me out. I suppose it's made to mock me, or something, but honestly, it's just scary. and the fact that the hair is styled exactly like mine, with the side bangs and all. Still, I will not yet reveal my face, because I like to keep my privacy, but if I grow worried about myself enough, I'll do it.

I'm all alone in this, and it's a painful realisation. I can't talk to anyone, I can't rely on anyone, All I have is this blog, and my Journal, but now that's gone too. Nobody would believe me and if I told my psychologist, I would be locked up in a mental ward in no time. But I have to keep going. Maybe I can escape it, or fight it. Or maybe trick it into leaving me alone. I don't know. I'm all out of ideas.

-Darkn3z

What to do?

SOOOOOOO.

Probably the few of you who have probably not, but maybe noticed my tweet about something URGENT, Knew something BIG is coming. AND WHY am I talking like this? .....Sorry. It's just that I don't know what the frick to think and feel right now. No, I'm not scared, not really, but I'm extremely... creeped out? That's not even the right term. Maybe weirded out. Again.

Maybe I can calm down enough to finally write this down.
Let's begin with the least ....hmm, weird thing: My journal's gone missing. I had it with me and It is possible that I just left it somewhere, (Which I hope didn't happen, 'cuz there's some pretty weird stuff in there.) But I never leave it laying anywhere.

But then there's this other thing.
Well, it begun a couple of days ago. We were at a farm, staying overnight, and it was near the woods. So one day, My mom makes me go to the woods for a walk with her, and I had to. What could go wrong, I thought. It's just a walk, I thought. Maybe that thing won't appear, Since I've been feeling better. A lot. Or I was feeling better, until that day. Everything went fine until I started feeling bad again and told my mom I'd just go alone back to the farm. I didn't want to stay there because I felt so nauseous and anxious, and I did get halfway back, until I got lost. The path just didn't go where it should have gone. That's great, feeling like shit, paranoid and maybe chased by a supernatural internet meme. Fucking awesome. So I just thought I should at least move to maybe find my mom OR the farm, but that was a bad decision. I only got more and more lost, and then I started feel so incredibly bad that I vomited everything I had eaten that day, and felt like vomiting my insides out even after nothing else came out but stomach acid or whatever that's called. Then as I looked up, I had to look for a while, because there he stood like he had always been there. Who, Well, who else, but our friendly neighborhood Slenderman. I instantly felt even worse, and I barely could move, but the mortal terror I was experiencing made me run. I remember running so fast that I passed out at some point. And when I woke up, I was laying near the path back to the farm. Again, I thought everything was just my imagination until I saw it. Someone had drawn that symbol thingy on both of my wrists with a similar pen I use to write on my journal. And then there was this drawing next to me. (This isn't my laptop so I'm gonna post a picture of it from my phone later.) The drawing portrayed the head of a girl whose hair is very similar to mine, and the girls face is somewhat creepily drawn, with round, dark eyes and a creepy smirk. I went all NOPE and took the drawing and ran back to the farm. I probably should mention that my pen disappeared with the notebook too, and It's more than possible that these drawings were made with it... I'm getting the shivers.

Anyhow after this, The sickness came back. But now I'm also nauseous, and I keep hallucinating this tall, dark shadow in the corners of my eyes, and it's fucking up my mind. I can't concentrate and I'm constantly on the edge of panic. I'm not sure what to do anymore...

-Darkn3z

So.

So, I'm writing this on my phone. I've been away for a while, because mom thought it would be a good idea to take me to the countryside. She thinks I need fresh air. I don't.

Anyhow, here's a thing I have wanted to talk to you about for a while: Do I believe in the slenderman? No. But nowadays I'm not as sure. I could call myself crazy and blame my eyes but I feel like that's not the case. All I wanna know is who that fucker was, where he lives and what he is most afraid of. Or she. I don't care.

I've been okay otherwise but I woke up with scratches in my arms and legs for no reason. It looked like I had scratched myself in my sleep, but I am a very heavy sleeper especially now that I have been using melatonin for sleep. I have never done anything like this.

-Darkn3z

Fuck this.

All I seriously want to do is just go "Fuck this shit" and continue my normal life. I don't need this! I'm writing down the nightmare I had last night on my notebook, luckily as woke up from it, I wrote it all down on my phone as I tweeted about it. So now I'm practically just copying the dream here.

I looked at the forest from above. It was very dark, but I could still see. It was slightly misty outside, and it created a creepy atmosphere. Then I was standing in the entrance of the forest, holding a candle in my hand for some reason. I felt something cold touch my shoulder, and then I ran. I ran straight into the forest,. I fell down, and the dream ended. The whole dream had a terrifying, anxious feel to it, and even though nothing creepy-ish happened, I still woke up in panic. Also, as I was on my phone, I got this terrible headache and a feeling of being watched.. Ugh.

-Darkn3z

-Sigh-...

I feel so frustrated. I kinda want that hacker to answer, but then again, I don't want anything to do with this person. I changed ALL my passwords and such. And Now that I'm not angry anymore, I'm simply really weirded out. How does this even happen? Who is that person? Why?

Then again, that person had to hack my account, because this is the second time I changed the password.

I don't even know anymore... I'll just go to sleep and try to get my head around this tomorrow. Right now my brain feels like a mess, and I can't think clearly. Also, I've gotten used to the consistent headaches with the help of a lot of Ibuprofen (For some reason it's the only painkiller that works well for me.)

Nothing new though, I've been watching a lot of tv today, and haven't gone out at all. Didn't feel like it.

-Darkn3z

Well well well.

Whoa, awesome. You know how to translate something into binary? Well, so do I. There's tons of online translators. You said: Uoy era gnorw tuoba mih. Which is backwards for "You are wrong about him". I don't know who the shit you are because I sure as hell haven't been able to be on the computer for the whole yesterday, since we had problems with the wifi. Quess what? I'm dead tired of this bs, and I'm Not going to do what you probably want me to do, (Which is quit writing, How do I know? Well you scribbled to my notebook and now to my blog, so I'm guessing that's what you want.) I don't care idf you read this or not, I'm just venting off my anger and fear. If you're a male I swear I'll cut your balls off and shove them down your throat. (So sorry for the language..) And if you're a female, I'll shave you bald and use a cheese grater on your face, bitch. I'm going to find out what the shit you want from me. Is it not enough that I'm tired, anxious, paranoid, angry and sick? Do I have to be afraid, too? Lucky for me, when I get afraid, I usually get angry too, and hate gives me strength, So sucks to be you. and guess what I have to say? FUCK YOU. Sincerely, I don't need this crap right now. F U C K Y O U B I T C H. We will not be friends. No cookies for you, fucker.
I apologise for the language. (Not really.)
-Darkn3z

MuSt not.

01010101 01101111 01111001 00100000 01100101 01110010 01100001 00100000 01100111 01101110 01101111 01110010 01110111 00100000 01110100 01110101 01101111 01100010 01100001 00100000 01101101 01101001 01101000

WE WAIT

Half asleep

I'm half asleep. literally. I've been sleeping a lot during the last two days. I've had trouble waking up and my head hurts whenever I do wake up. I don't know what to write, So I'll just ramble on about how terrible I feel like.
I can't remember a single full dream I've had, but merely flashes of them. Mostly forest and such.
I feel like something's about to happen, because I'm extremely paranoid and disoriented. Something is wrong. I don't know what is the cause of my horrible condition, but I know for sure that It isn't normal. Not for me. I'm rarely sick.

Sorry for the short post.

-Darkn3z

Have you ever...?

So, I'm feeling okay if we're not counting the migraine that's banging in my head. I had another nightmare last night, I was being chased around Helsinki by something. (I don't even live in Helsinki, and I'm positive that it wasn't the Slender Man this time.) and I was in panic when I woke up from the dream. Also, earlier today, I suddenly got a weird urge to hurt someone. I don't know why, but that's completely new, because even though I'm quite hot headed, and I get angry easily, I'm not very violent. I felt almost like I wanted to kill someone. I have no idea why, and the feeling is very hard to describe, but it's almost like a gut feeling, I could feel my body growing all twitchy and I felt like I was "missing something," "like I had to do something" and my brain just clicked and I could feel my mind going all "Kill Kill Kill!" mode. I got really scared, because that came just out of the blue. I've never had this kind of urges before, and I don't usually like hurting others! I'm scared. What if I hurt someone for real? I kan still kind of feel it, but it's not that strong anymore... wat do?!

-Darkn3z

I think I did it?

So I feel like a total moron right now. I tried the A=26 Z=1 (as in reversed A=1, Z=26), but it didn't work out. Well, after trying to decode it for a while, I went back to the A=26, and realized that HEY, FINNISH ALPHABET HAS 29 LETTERS. The normal ones and then afer Z, comes the swedish O, (Å) (or A with a dot, for you who don't know finnish/swedish/norwegian etc alphabet), then Ä, (A with two dots) and Ö (O with two dots.) So what did i get as a result?


NON
EXI
STY
NT?

NO
MO
RE

IS
IT

NAM
ELE
SS

....Damn. I think I cracked a code for the first time in my life.

What does this mean, then? Nonexistent? No more. Is it Nameless? Maybe? But who or what does it refer to?

-Darkn3z

This time!

This is making me really angry. I come home from a long day out and find my notebook laying on the floor, witch scribbles on it with the same black marker as in the paper from "Well..." It has the symbol in it and There's a paper with the symbol in it and it's full of question marks. I'm so angry right now. I took the notebook and went to ask my little brother if he had drawn it, even though it was impossible that it was him this time. I had hidden my notebook well, he had exited the house before me and forgot his keys so I had to let him in as I came home, and that was when I found the notebook. I searched the entire house for a marker like that, but didn't find anything similar, only a thicker one that hasn't been working for three years or so.

The Cover with the symbol

 So this is the cover of the notebook, and the symbol has been cruelly scribbled into it. This makes me son angry, the notebook was important to me, even though it's still pretty new. The rest of the scibbles, they seem to be a code or something. Currently I'm too angry and tired to try to solve it, but I hope it's easy enough and I don't have to spend the entire day with it.

The inside of the cover..

This is the inside of the cover with a series of numbers that I'll list later. It also has a Question mark after the numbers so I suppose it's a question. I don't know if it's a sentence or a word but I'll have to look into it later. there's also that  symbol AGAIN

Another symbol...

This is the first page with ANOTHER symbol. That's my hand you're seeing there,sorry. Those are the battery cables of my computer and cellphone.

MORE numbers!

The second page / opening of the notebook with more numbers. the outline of the symbol can be seen from through the page. The weird part on this page is that my blog password has been covered with the marker. It's sort of scaring me that someone knows the password, and I'm gonna change it right away.

And even more numbers!

This is the next opening. More numbers and the next page's numbers can be seen from through the page. again, my hand got into the picture, I didn't pay attention when I was taking these pics.

I haven't told you everything.

 Ah, well. I guess I have to explain the drawing. It's another dream I had a while back, but I didn't write about it. I fear that people don't believe me and I didn't want to make myself look silly. I seriously wonder why people even are reading this. Also this is just how he seems to look like in my dreams. But anyway, there's that symbol and one more series of numbers.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN ????

This was the paper that was inside the notebook. It's creepy, I admit it. I don't know who did this, or why. And I want to know what the symbol means.

"Watching you"? Well fuck you too.

Stop it with the symbols, ok?








THEN THIS. I can't even describe the feeling I got as I flipped the notebook over and this was here. If it's meant to imply "Watching you" or something else, then I might have a stalker or two. And not in a romantic way, the most twisted way you can possibly imagine. I got the shivers.








So the numbers are in this order:

16 15 16

25 6 21

11 10 5

16 10 ?

16 15

17 15

12 25

21 11

21 10

16 29 17

25 18 25

11 11 

I'm too tired to try and crack it right now. I'll look into it tomorrow. feel free to help me if you want to, I'd greatly appreaciate it!

So, the dream I had. i don't remember much of it. But I remember that I had climbed up to a tree and sat there, and he stood in front of me. I felt very scared, but didn't move or anything. He didn't move either, and that's all I can remember. I didn't even write it down to my journal.

I'll continue using my journal, even though this happened. I'm not gonna give in to whoever did this!

-Darkn3z

Nothing new?

My head is hurting and I didnt sleep a single hour last night, but otherwise I'm feeling okay. Just tired. And hungry, heh.
Aside from all this awesome sh!t happening to me, I'm a weirdo. underneath all the anxiety that's nagging me constantly, (It's a lot easier to write stuff online than to TALK about it to someone, trust me) I have a dark sense of humour and I'm selfish. Also, I both love and hate sarcastic people, (I'm definitely not one of them,) they make me want to hug them, but also punch the shit out of them. I have a dumb brother who is 12 and his life goal seems to be annoying everyone to the edge of beating them up. Seriously, I wonder why the hell someone hasn't already kicked his ass. But he does have his "okay" moments too. Usually when he sleeps or something. My dad is something I do not wish to talk about, but my parents are divorced. My mum and I both are somewhat hot-headed and that means we argue a lot, at least we did, before all "Explanation" shit and so on, nowadays we don't talk nearly at all. I'm having headache all the time, and I just tell her not to talk to me too much. She knows I have migraines and I have meds for them, but she doesn't know about the other stuff.

My childhood was pretty normal, I think, but I don't remember much about it. We lived next to the woods, and I remember me and my best friend playing in them all the time. But I don't remember anything weird happening, so it's not like "Hurr hurr durr durr I lived next to teh woods and now slendurrman is after me lol" Actually, the woods were really nice and not ominous at all, there were many paths that were and are used daily and it's a pretty small forest actually. I don't remember much about my parents' divorce other than that they were yelling at each other all the time, and that I was scared. They got a divorce when I was around 4 or maybe 5.  I can't actually remember a longer period than 9 or 10 months of not seeing a psychologist or a therapist more or less regularly after I started school. I was always in detention and I was very aggressive towards other kids. I got bullied because of that, and now that I'm starting the 9th grade (Finnish school system ftw) I'm mostly a loner.

Why am I telling about myself this much? I love writing, but I would never write this much about myself, even into a journal or a "diary", but somehow I'm feeling like I need to. Probably another mental illness symptom thing or something.

Haven't been writing to my journal in a while, I think I might do it after posting this.

-Darkn3z

I don't know.

My head is really aching. I think I met him again ,but I'm not sure. It could be just me. At least I want to believe that it's just my brain playing tricks on me. Have you ever had a migraine? If you have, you know what I feel like right now. I'm probablyabout to throw up agian on any second. Fuckity fuck.
So, I was walking home from my friend's house (She lives only a kilometer away from me, but I usually cross through the woods. I didn't do that for a while after "Explanation" but this time I finally got enough courage to do it and prove that it was just my eyes.) and as I was walking in the woods, I suddenly felt how my head started aching, and I got this ominous feeling ,like I was being watched. I got so anxious and paranoid that some feral instinct kicked in and I actually dashed out of the forest, ran home and nearly fainted in the hallway. I remember struggling to the bathroom and throwing up. My ears are still ringing and I  feel terrible, but it's getting better. I actually wanted to ignore this and not write about it, but it would be nagging me inside if I hadn't written this here.
I'm unsure on what to believe now. I don't want to jump to conclusions, because I didn't actually see him this time, but the reaction was nearly exactly the same as last time. I still believe it's just me and my eyes are playing tricks on me, (And there is this weird, weird need to write everything here) but I'm not so sure anymore. This isn't normal, right?

-Darkn3z